9 Steps to Successfully Negotiate with a Leprechaun

No leprechaun willingly gives up his crock of gold, but if you come across one, you may well be in luck. If you keep your wits, you may learn the location of his secret hoard and become rich.

If you fail, though, be warned—the leprechaun may well have his revenge.

  1. Wander around the countryside (in Ireland for best results). It helps to be alone, but no matter what, do not expect to find a leprechaun. It is when you are least expecting it that you will stumble upon one.

  2. Choose your approach. Extortion is the traditional method. For the hands-on technique, catch him by the neck and give a little squeeze. Whatever you do, do not look away, because the moment you take your eyes off him, the leprechaun will disappear.

  3. Once you have him in your grasp, you are in a position to have a polite—or not so polite—conversation. Start off by asking him where he keeps his crock—or pot—of gold. Do not be surprised when he does not tell you, and instead attempts to use cunning tricks to escape.

  4. Do not be fooled if he tells you, “It’s over there,” and points. (Do not look where he points.) Do not look behind you if he tells you there’s something behind your back. This may include your house (or any other local building) that may or may not be on fire, a boat full of good-looking men or women, or even one or more attackers who are coming to cut your neck from behind.

  5. If the leprechaun is not forthcoming after you shake him up and ask him a second time, you may have to take him home, boil a kettle, and threaten to plunge him into the water. (You may have to do this several times.) You may also tie him to a table leg, or imprison him in a chest. If you do, have patience: it may take a year and a day of imprisonment before he tells you anything. They are stubborn little creatures.

  6. Even if he does divulge the location of his gold, do not trust a leprechaun to give you the correct location. You may discover that he has given you the location of something far less desirable, like a chest containing a leprechaun skeleton, or worse! Your best bet is to bring him with you; one tried-and-true method is to trap the leprechaun in your apron pocket.

  7. If you do find the gold, be prepared to dig it up immediately. Even if you mark the location, you will not find the gold again if you have to run home for a shovel.

  8.  Should you fail as an extortionist and/or burglar (which will happen to almost all of you), be prepared to suffer ill fortune. You may have thought leprechauns were lucky, but many tales warn that those who encounter leprechauns will have bad luck. If you manage to build a business on leprechaun gold, your luck—and your wealth—may vanish. Even after shorter encounters, your livestock may sicken, your horse may die, and you may wake up to find yourself blind.

  9. Good Luck. You’ll need it.

Wonder about the history of Leprechauns? Check out our recent post on “The First Leprechauns“.

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